Find yourself moaning for no reason? Sighing, grumbling and complaining – for the sake of it more than anything? Recognise it’s a toxic trait, you want and need to stop? Then you’re in the right place. In this post, we’ll answer the burning question of: “why do I moan for no reason?” before leading onto how to stop.
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Why Do I Moan For No Reason?
So first off, if you’ve found yourself on this article, I want you to commend you. You’ve RECOGNISED your moaning excessively and complaining for the sake of it, so are looking for answers.
You want to do something about it and that separates you from the many who “can’t be bothered” or are “too set in their ways.”
The thing to remember here as well, is – although it feels like you’re moaning for no reason, you’re not.
You don’t mean to moan. You don’t want to moan and it’s becoming both draining and toxic by doing all this moaning… So it has to stop!
BUT – there are “reasons” why you’re moaning, and once you recognise these and understand your behaviour, that’s the first step to stopping!
Reasons For Excessive / Pointless Moaning
So, why do you moan for no reason? What’s driving this unnecessary complaining all of the time? Well, it could be down to a number of things.
Have a read of the following list and see which sounds most likely to be the case for you. This should also encourage your own self-reflection to better determine what the reason could be.
So, in no particular order, you could find yourself complaining for no reason, because…
1) It’s a Habit!
You don’t mean to. You don’t know how long you’ve had it – nor when it started to develop to the level of moaning for no reason where you really recognise it now…
But it’s there, it’s developed and that’s why you keep doing it. After all, habits are hard to break!
Now, the following reasons also tie into excessive moaning, as you may find you started it because:
2) You’re Surrounded By Other Moaners!
We are social mimicking machines! This is how human beings are wired. It’s why they say: “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
So if you’re around people who moan for the sake of it – you’re likely to join in with that moaning more, or start moaning about things yourself too!
Society as a whole, has become very “moany.” I mean, researchers say the average person complains 30 times a day! It’s like we’ve become accustomed to moan…
We moan about the weather, we moan about the day of the week (e.g. Monday’s!), at times it can feel like we’ll moan about anything or everything!
Moaning has kind of become the norm in society, with countries even battling it out to see who moans the most!
But just because moaning can feel like the norm, doesn’t mean it has to be YOUR norm.
Ultimately, you decide what outlook you choose to have, you decide what to focus on, you decide which way you want to look at certain things or situations, and you decide what kind of energy you want flowing! So try not to get sucked in!
3) Maybe It Started Off as a Joke
So maybe when you’re moaning for no reason, you’re not REALLY serious about what you’re moaning about. You’re doing it for comedy value, like:
- “Oh babe, why do you always have to leave your dirty underwear on the floor?!” (To a partner, said with a smile.) Or…
- “It was OUTRAGEOUS! 20 minutes I had to wait for a taxi! 20 whole minutes!… For one that was already pre-booked! I mean, I know it’s New Year’s Eve and the guy was stuck in crazy traffic, but… come on!” (Overly extreme, said in a jokey way!)
Now things like this, will be okay, on occasion – if they’re taken as a joke and the same joke isn’t said again and again. If that’s your sense of humour, you don’t have to try to change it as such. Just simply ask yourself:
- Has my moaning turned from jokey moaning to… actual moaning?
- Have I been taking these “jokes” too far, or doing them too often, so that it’s no longer really funny?
- Is my mindset just… negative, now?! And I need a bit of a refresh?!
Think about it. As there is likely to be some sort of boundary that’s being crossed if you’re now here, searching, “why do I moan for no reason?!”
4) You Think The Moaning Will Help
People moan for all kinds of reasons, but usually – if they’re moaning – they think they’ll “get” something from it.
Whether that’s (like we said), a laugh or whether it’s to relate to someone. It could also simply be to make conversation, to to try to get attention…
For example, if every time you moan, someone comforts you (e.g. your Mum or your partner), aren’t you likely to think that the moaning is a GOOD thing? That it takes away from the issue you had which led you to moan in the first place?
The thing is – this is deceptive because although you may get a “reward” or feel better after moaning to someone, it’s not the healthiest way to release your emotions as you’re releasing them onto someone else… And that then takes it’s toll on them.
For this reason, ask yourself:
- When I seem to be moaning for no reason, what is the “benefit” of it?
- What benefit could I be seen to be getting?
- What’s driving this behaviour?
- And – what other outlet could enable me to feel the same way, in a healthier way? (Some food for thought. We’ll touch on the solutions in more depth in just a moment now too!)
5) You’re Just an Irritable Person (… Right Now!)
Then of course, it could just be that you moan a lot (and usually for no reason!) because you’re easily irritated by things and have a low tolerance for people, things and the world around you.
Now if this is the case, you probably genuinely get annoyed by small things, even when you know you probably shouldn’t! In which case, you should probably try these Affirmations for a Positive Mindset!
After all… Do you want to be this way? No! That’s why you’re here. Do you have to be this way? NO! Which is the good news, right?
It just means this is now an area for focused self-improvement so that you can start to shift the way you think, or at the very least, behave!
How To Stop Moaning For No Reason
So now you’re a little clearer on why you may moan for “no reason”, you can start to look at how to stop. Now, as we said, awareness is the first stage, so with this newfound knowledge and understanding…
1) Get To The Root Of The Cause
The key to stop moaning for no reason is to get to the root of the cause. Look at WHY you’re moaning for no reason, and then specifically tackle or challenge that, in order to try to stop.
For example, let’s say it’s a bad habit – use this habit tracker to replace the habit of moaning with something else you do instead. Like deep breathing or meditation when you feel a pointless moan coming on, for example.
(Meditation is actually a very powerful tool, so learning how to get into meditation is an absolute must!)
2) Commit To Changing
As Guy Bavli once said, “Every change starts with a decision.” Decide, commit and STICK to stop moaning for no reason.
It’s not “as simple as that”, but when you really decide something and put your focus on it, it’s pretty powerful. Because that’s the thing – when it comes to why you moan for no reason, it often may not even be conscious…
So by committing to NOT moaning for no reason, you’re also committing to becoming aware of it.
A great way to get your commitment and focus fully there, is to start the 30 Day No Complaining Challenge! Here, this is the low-down of what it it and how you can best go about it:
3) Have Others Hold You Accountable
Now, you may moan and grumble to yourself, but – more often than not – you’ll also moan to someone else.
So, in order to stop moaning for no reason – tell them that this is something you want to work on, and ask them if they can pull you up on it / point it out, whenever you do it.
Do what you can, to make the changes you want to see, easier.
And hey – excessive moaning is pretty draining, not just for you, but those around you, so I’m sure there will be plenty of people who are more than happy to help you out!
4) Change How You See It
Have you ever heard of the power of PAIN and PLEASURE, best taught and explained by the legendary Tony Robbins? Well here, watch this as he’ll explain it in this audio snippet in just 2 minutes:
Essentially, if you want to stop moaning for no reason, you want to associate MORE pain to moaning than the small amount of temporary satisfaction you get when you do have a little moan.
Look at the strong reasons why you DON’T want to moan, how it doesn’t help to moan, or how it negatively affects you, your relationships and the people around you. Then go back to the vision of who you want to be as a person and how GOOD you’ll feel when you can cut this bad habit out!
When you do this exercise properly and store it somewhere you can easily see and re-read regularly, it becomes a powerful tool for change!
5) Work On Your Mindset
Last but not least then – working on your mindset as a whole, to become a more positive person, will also drive that urge to complain for no reason, away!
A good friend of mine, Cornell Thomas, has one of the best mindset books on the market for this. It’s called “The Power of Positive Thinking.”
Other recommended mindset books, include:
- The Complaining Cure. (Which you can actually listen to for free as an audiobook with a FREE Audible Trial.)
- The Positive Shift: Mastering Mindset to Improve Happiness, Health, and Longevity (Another one that’s free with Audible! ☝️)
- & Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life (to mention just a few for you here!)
So swat up – see what you can learn! See how you can better manage your mind to stop that moaning in its tracks, even before it thinks to come out of your mouth…
And I promise you, you’ll begin to have less and less impulsion to moan in the first place!
That’s All For This One
So there we have it! Why you moan for no reason, where the unnecessary complaining comes from, and – more importantly – how to stop!
Remember, this is a journey of self improvement… It’s ongoing and never-ending.
This means, it doesn’t matter how fast or slow the change is – so long as you’re consistently and actively working on making the changes you want and need to see in yourself, to become the best, happiest version of you.
So be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself and be PROUD of yourself, to taking the steps to better understand yourself and work on yourself.
Take care. And good luck!